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SIH’s Think On These Things: Ephesians 5:25

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SIH TOTT ICONReflections Of His Grace”

“That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in [his] kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.”


The Grace Of Relationships (5:22-33)

Eph 5:22-33 KJV

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.   For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”


This devotional, continues to look at the second main division of the book of Ephesians. Previously, we have looked at “Reflections Of His Grace Revealed” (chaps 1-3). It that section, Paul revealed to us the gracious works of the Lord in the lives of His chosen people.

In this new section “Reflections Of His Grace Applied” (chaps 4-6) Paul will be explaining to us the practical effects of God’s grace in the lives of His people.

  1. The Grace Of Unity (4:1-6)
  2. The Grace Of Maturity (4:7-16)
  3. The Grace Of Renewal (4:17-32)
  4. The Grace Of Imitation (5:1-14)
  5. The Grace Of Wisdom (5:15-21)
  6. The Grace Of Relationships (5:22-33)
  7. The Grace Of Authority/Submission (6:1-9)
  8. The Grace Of Preparedness (6:10-21)


The next effect of God’s grace we will be looking at is the grace of RELATIONSHIPS (5:22-33). For those who are called to be married, there is no greater earthly relationship that can be enjoyed. Within a Godly marriage love, harmony, unity of heart and mind, and unconditional support are constants that only enhance our relationship with Christ.


Keeping all this in mind, let’s turn our attention to this is a very basic outline of this section of Scripture:

I.        The Marriage Relationship – The Wife’s Responsibility (vs 22-24)
II.        The Marriage Relationship – The Husband’s Responsibility (vs 25-29)
III.        The Marriage Relationship – An Example Of Christ’s Great Love (vs 30–33)





The most outstanding of all the characteristics of the husband’s relation to his wife is love. Yet, sad to say, it seems as if in many cases, this is the most lacking characteristic in today’s marriages…

(Eph 5:25) Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;


Husbands, love your wives,

Because of the great possibility of the husband’s abuse of their authority, they are absolutely required to “love” their wives. In the Greek language there are four main words for “love”, only two of which are used in the New Testament:

1. eros – the physical, intimate, sensual type of love, not used in the Bible
2. storge – the natural affection of family members, not used in the Bible
3. phileo – love of the brethren, it is affection to family, friends, acquaintances or even activities, used in the Bible
4. agape – the deepest, greatest form of love, it is sacrificial and unconditional, used in the Bible


In this text, husbands are told to hold the greatest love towards their wives, “agape” love. Agape love causes the husband to sacrifice himself for the benefit of his wife… It is the type of love that does not ask “How can I profit from you?”; but, instead, asks “How can I be of benefit to you?”

It is a love that says:

“I will choose to endure suffering to secure your wellbeing”;
“I will choose to love you in spite of being wronged by you”;
“I will suffer loss so that you might gain.”

It is this type of love that CANNOT be a cause of abuse, but in actuality will oppose abuse. To abuse or mistreat a wife is to prove that agape love is non-existent.

God loved us with that same type of love. He loved us when we did not love Him and He gave His Son when we did not deserve His Son and His work on our behalf.   Because God did all this for us, shouldn’t we display His love to others by loving them in the same way?

Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son [to be] the propitiation for our sins.Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.”   (1 John 4:10-11)

Shouldn’t a husband hold this love towards his wife (above all others)?


This is also the type of love that Christ holds for His assemblies as a body and as individual members…

even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Christ loved His local assemblies with the same type of self-sacrificial love. He gave His life, not only for His chosen people but for His local assemblies as well.

Act 20:28 XE “Act 20\:28 KJV – “Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.”

It was these acts of sacrifice by Christ that displayed His great love for His people and His churches. Think about it…

God the Son being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.”(Philippians 2:6-8)

What tremendous sacrifices He made on our behalf, even though we did not deserve it, nor could we pay Him back for it!   WHAT GREAT LOVE!

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.(John 15:13)



Husband’s love your wives, realizing they are a gift of God’s grace, given to you specifically to love and cherish. May we all recognize His great goodness to us! May we seek to care for our wives, motivated by a self-sacrificial love and a desire to display the love of Christ to a lost and dying world.

May we all get a clearer picture of our Lord and Savior, and the great grace He has shown to us. Let us be always watchful to keep His great acts of grace on our behalf in the center of our attention… In doing so, may we be motivated to LOVE Him more, APPRECIATE Him more and SERVE Him more! 


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  1. Thanks for the continued good study. I taught this book 3 years ago that took 1 1/2 years. I love the book.

    • Rob Barkman says:

      Thank you for the kind words Levi. It sounds like you certainly got into great detail in your teaching of the book… It is a very easy thing to do when you love a portion of Scripture! Lord bless you my friend.

  2. Terry says:

    Thanks for another great lesson Rob!

  3. SLIMJIM says:

    A strong command that Christian men need to hear today, balancing God’s call for the women to submit to their husbands

  4. Thanks again Rob. A very needy message in these days where marriage has lost in meaning in much of society.

  5. […] Similarly, SIH’s Think On These Things: Ephesians 5:25 at Settled In Heaven, highlights the importance of agape love by pointing out the alternative words that might have been used in this verse. […]

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